- Preparation is the secret of life.
- If you memorize these rules, you'll be able to
graph anything under the Sun.
- It isn't the correct graph, but these are the
neatest hash marks I have ever seen.
- That's how the game is played-break 'em up and
add 'em.
- Mr. Ant just gets a suntan, not fried.
- I want you to try these in your seats.
- You have a real problem in this problem.
- Put a hole in it.
- It's zeroing in on zero.
- grains of sand you can put on one finger or two.
(visual aid)
- Did I say that? Did I? Oh, oh, oh, yeah! I
said that. Sorry.
- There are 4 ways to write a proportion, so you
have a 50/50 chance of getting it right. -Sherri Nicewonger
- Yeah, that's a lady. But, hey, now what is she
doing under a street light?
- I never did like algebra, but I still teach it.
- It just undoes it.
- Voila!!
- Oops. I missed it.
- If you liked that, you better hold on to your
seats. Don't blink. Don't move. Don't breathe.
- When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Why that was so much fun, let's try another.
- Even the village idiot could figure out what
X equals.
- Take the X over...make life a little easier.
- (on chalkboard)
The
secret of life is right here!!
- That's what happens when you try to sneeze and
cough at the same time.
- If you don't understand now, you myswell go home
until Thanksgiving.
- He will be our log expert. You might as well
go into the lumber business.
- Someone's ten has some helium in it. It started
to float away.
- (referring to log
when
it should have been log
)
- You've just about seen every equation under the
Sun.
- Here, I'll give you some problems. No sense
in me having all the fun.
- Anyone who misses a base problem should be knocked
in the head and shot at dawn.
- 3 to the almost 4th will be almost 81.
- Every blessed thing...except one thing.
- The importance of synthetic division is almost
like the invasion of Pearl Harbor.
- You gotta be dead not to get that.
- Hold on to your hats...now I'm goin' show you
how to multiply.
- Everyday, Brian's back their givin' you zingers,
Bridget.
- The Pythagorean Theorem...that should be comin'
out your ears.
- Might have to spit on that.
- Tammy has the square roots workin' today.
- They add up to 360, but that doesn't mean squat!
- Remember Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood? We're going
to pretend. I'll put my sneakers on later.
- Believe it or not, I am organized.
- There's going to be a fire drill in 5 minutes.
You guys can stay here, otherwise the test would be null. I
thought I would let you burn this time.
- One feet per second.
- This is quite a bit easier when you don't have
to change nuthin'.
- Here we are, standing on the Earth moving at
994 MPH. That would be one heck of a wind.
- There is a whole bunch of inches per mile.
- It goes around a whole bunch of McDonald's.
- The wheel is going as fast as the road.
- Your feet cancel!!
- You're going to be loster.
- (class) Why are we doing this?!!
(Mr. Hall) Something to do on a rainy day.
- Well, I'd be out on the street if you guys didn't
learn this.
- Health is a good class. But, all you need to
know is how to brush your teeth at night and to go to the bathroom when you get up.
- You divided by 'r'...that's not nice.
- That was fast, but infinitely fast is REAL
fast! I mean a billion, trillion, zillion, miles per hour!
- Why did you guys ever take calculus?
- Page two...fifty...whatever-it-is.
- m=5x is like really steep.
- It's like distributive or something.
- (Mr. H) Tammy, are you raising your hand?
(Tammy) No, I'm just stretching.
(Mr. H) Well stop it.
- He's always right. He's Mr. Hall.
- Infinity is like really big. (9/3/92)
- We did all that for nuthin', but we sure had
alot of fun. (11/4/92)
- Oh look. It's the Math 1 parade. Let's pause
for a moment of silence. (12/5/92)
- It's like a soup can, except without the top,
without the bottom, and without the soup inside. (1/6/93)
- It's like a donut, but without the hole, and
it's cut in half and it's on its side. (1/6/93)
- I don't have time to draw an infinite number.
(1/6/93)
- We're talking an infinite roll of toilet paper.
(1/6/93)
- Children, let's not worry about Pac-Man. (1/7/93)
- It's like commutative or something. (1/7/93)
- That's like asking 'How do you know it's not
Wednesday?' (1/7/93)
- Kevin, get in your seat and shut up. (1/7/93)
- Well get your reclining brain in gear and start
your work! (1/7/93)
- Don't become an engineer unless you're going
to drive a train. (1/7/93)
- Oh geez...where am I at? (1/8/93)
- Whether you understand it or not, just take my
word for it, then you'll be OK...most of the time. (1/8/93)
- It would be the last in an infinite number of
shells. (1/11/93)
- All you can do is shut up! (1/13/93)
- These problems suck, man! (1/13/93)
- You can sleep soundly now knowing for sure that
the circumference of a circle is 2r.
- Remember way back yesterday? (1/14/93)
- There's only two equations in calculus. Well,
I shouldn't say that because there are a whole bunch for integrating.
But besides those, there are only...yeah, there's only two.
(1/14/93)
- If it were 40x2 or 40x3 or 40x3/2 or 40x to the
anything, you have to integrate. (1/14/93)
- What are you chirpin' about back there, Tammy?
(1/14/93)
- (Mr. H) Are you guys done back there?
(Kevin/Pat) Yes.
(Mr. H) Good. I won't have to throw anyone out
today. (1/19/93)
- You guys mean you like 'commie-pinko' music?
(after students sang 'It's Alright with Me') (1/19/93)
- Stay tuned for this if you thought that was good.
(1/19/93)
- I was so bright, my father called me son. (1/20/93)
- I'm totally lost, but it works. (1/20/93)
- *******SAKE
IN YOU FACE!!!*******
(1/21/93)
- (Kevin) Bye, Mr. Hall.
(Mr. H) Ten-four. (1/27/93)
- I'm not much of a bomb squad. (1/28/93)
- Good...I don't care. (after Kevin named e to
10 digits) (1/29/93)
- Sí, señorita. (to Jason) (1/29/93)
- (Julie) How do you know that?
(Mr. H) Cause I'm right! (1/29/93)
- That's a natural log problem, and that's just
that. (1/29/93)
- (Kevin) Mr. Hall, you got four good quotes today.
(Mr. H) Thanks. That'll make my weekend.
(Pat) Now it's five. (1/29/93)
- (Kevin) Why are there four people in the math
office 6th period? Pat and I have to do it alone.
(Mr. H) Well, you're just worth four people.
Well, at least 3 ½. (1/29/93)
- 'e' to the natural log of something is the something.
(2/4/93)
- See, you understood it, so quit your laughing.
(2/4/93)
- (Kevin) Why do you use the natural log there?
(Mr. H) Darned if I know. (2/8/93)
- Must've been the chicken nuggets I ate! (2/8/93)
- The answer is eight. Yeah, ocho. (2/11/93)
- Dave, nice of you to show up today. (2/11/93)
- We don't have a curriculum. Don't worry about
it. (2/18/93) (yes, ladies and gents, John Travolta's birthday)
- It takes every ounce of my being to refrain from
loud, uncontrollable laughter. (2/22/93)
- -Pat Fanelli, after straining mightily to figure
out why Mr. Betar is principal
- I've been confused for the last ten minutes.
(2/22/93)
- The great thing is that you can do it even if
you don't have any parts. (2/23/93)
- We never did find out what the integral of this
is, so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! (2/24/93)
- Julie, I don't even know what planet you're on!!
(2/25/93)
- I have to play poker tomorrow. I can't go to
[Man of La Mancha]. I'll miss my son's basketball game, but
I won't miss the card game. (2/25/93)
- If I don't win, I'll cheat. (2/26/93) (referring
to the poker game)
- (Mr. H) We did it last period.
(Tammy) We weren't here last period.
(Kevin) She does have a point.
(Mr. H) Yeah, right between her shoulders. (3/1/93)
- 2e, that's one of Donald Duck's nephews. You
know...Huey, Dewey, and 2e. (3/1/93)
- You can work together on these. Move your desks
together, stand on your head, whatever it takes. (3/2/93)
- Is there a little magical fairy in here that
keeps skipping me? (3/2/93)
- I'm ready for you today, Kevin, if you start
mouthing off. (pulling masking tape from his desk) (3/9/93)
- You may ask, "What's that got to do with
calculus?" (3/9/93)
- See, a good teacher would be prepared, but I
figured, 'What the heck.' And a good teacher would've blown this
up and put it on an overhead, but I'm not going to waste my time.
(3/9/93)
- ..............duhh............... (3/9/93)
- (Kevin) I have a question.
(Mr. H) No, no, shut up. (3/9/93)
- It's like trying to paint the ceiling with a
hole in the roof. (3/11/93)
- Today is Pat's felice cucumbers (feliz cumpleaños).
(3/11/93)
- (Tammy) Are you serious?
(Mr. H) No. Actually, I'm Mr. Hall. (3/25/93)
- (Kevin) How did you do on your high school AP
National Exam for calculus?
(Mr. H) I didn't miss any...I didn't take calculus.
They didn't start that until after the Civil War. (3/30/93)
- The [AP Exams] were harder in the '70s. They
had messy, goofy, crazy, off-the-wall stuff then. (3/30/93)
- I just like to smell this stuff. (about his markers)
(3/30/93)
- She accused me a making a rectangle, and actually,
it was a tuna fish can. (3/30/93)
- (Mr. H) #14...D
(Sherri) D?
(Mr. H) Yes. D as in deaf. (4/17/93)
- Every year the Honor Society sells M&Ms for
a fund raiser. $5 goes toward the trip, and I use the other
$10 for my summer trip to Mexico. (4/17/93)
- (cough, cough) Sorry. Sloppy joes. (4/26/93)
- Why is it called a hurricane and not a heicane?
(5/3/93)
- (Kevin) (about his sunburned head) Mr. Hall,
how does your head feel?
(Mr. H) Round. (5/3/93)
- October 31st...is that always Halloween?
(5/4/93)
- Kevin, sit over there on the milking stool.
In case a cow runs by, you'll be ready. (5/5/93)
- (Mr. H) Anybody want to rent one of these [calculators]?
(Mr. Betar) Dave, this isn't funny. (5/12/93)
(AP Calc Exam)
- Seal your Section 1 booklet with your white sticky
labels. I think they're called 'seals'. (5/12/93) (AP Calc Exam)
-Mr. Young
- I killed everybody in the world. I should be
in first place. (5/13/93)
- Come on, Kevin. I want to kill you before the
bell rings. (5/14/93)
(The following quotes have been found in the
dark depths of Sherri's house. The dates are unknown, but they
are still classic.)
- Kevin: "Where did that slice come from?"
Mr. Hall: "What?! That's like asking
the meaning of life."
- The solution is too far out to lunch.
- Some of you that are rich might have on an Omega
watch or stole it.
- We're going to skip 5-8. I never really knew
how to do them anyway.
- I can tell you guys anything. You wouldn't know
the difference anyhow.
- Gravity pulls China stuff to the middle.
- Bud, do you and Jason want to take two erasers
and clean the board? (Who was Bud?)
- Look at them backwards, turn the card around,
look in the mirror, I don't know.
- Doing logs is like followin' a recipe to make
a cake.
- Student: "Who made up this stuff?"
Mr. Hall: "I don't know. Harry Calculus.
They named the course after him.
- The manure is getting very deep. I'll have to
wear my waders tomorrow.
- When does the rabbit population be the biggest?
- You're a big boy now. You have to do the messy
problems.
- Here's what I have after the smoke has cleared.
- That is a small reservoir, or a big one with
not much in it.
- It's not the vacation. It's the car ride.
- Where did all the colored chalk go? Oh, someone
must have ate it. It does look pretty good.
- Creamy curves, that's what I'm lookin' for.
- We could just eyeball it, but then we wouldn't
need calculus. Then I would be out of a job. I guess we shouldn't
do that.
- If someone hit you in the rear, that is, the
derivative of acceleration.
- That's out the window, folks.
- If I knew the answer, I wouldn't ask you guys
[how to do the problem].
- If it gets too messy, we'll just quit.
- Two of the easiest derivatives under the sun.
- Hate to waste a good problem.
- Mark [Grimm], you're goin' be shot at dawn.
- You'll get your money's worth on that one.
- You can't fool me. You guys are TRIGsters.
- Write it on the back of your hand, and don't
wash it till May.
- I don't have enough time this afternoon to draw
an infinite number of rectangles, so I'll draw four.
- Might have to brush up on your integration just
a hair.
Here are a few more recent ones contributed by Mike Acker
- Forever is pretty long.
- Of course the ladder can fall infinitely fast.
- Disks and shells can be dx or dy, but all lead back to dhall.
- Of all the many numbers in the world, this one just happens to be 'e'
- It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, but it takes an even bigger man to make fun of that man.
- Student: I hate simplification.
Mr. Hall: Me, too.
Student: Mr. Hall, I think you should make the test.
Mr. Hall: Oh, I agree (sipping his coffee)
- It matters not what we do on Friday, for we shall review Monday.